As I sit to write this blog post I gaze out my window to the bird bath in my backyard. There is a beautiful female cardinal poised on the edge and a second later she is a blur flying to the Holly tree. This makes me smile as I remember my grandmother who loved birds, especially cardinals. This grandmother is very important to me because she showed me unconditional love when I was growing up. She’s been gone now for almost 24 years but I still think of her often. I consider her a saving grace in my life.
This week as been particularly challenging on a hormonal level. My cravings have been CRAZY. I’m retaining so much water that I slosh when I walk. I haven’t thought about chocolate in many months but I am dreaming about it today. Can you relate?
A statement caught my eye on Karly Randolph Pitman’s blog post this morning. “A binge is a cry for help.” Oh, I so want to binge! I thought “okay, why am I crying for help?” I think it’s because I feel so out of control of my body. I have a cycling tour coming up in a week and I wanted to be feeling great, thin, fit. Instead I feel like a water balloon and I have no idea when that will change. I feel scared, frustrated and irritable. I need soothing, reassurance and comfort.
Rather than getting into my car and driving to the nearest health food store (which is only 2 miles away) for some high quality chocolate, I am choosing to find what I need from taking some slow, deep breaths. I am glancing out my window looking for the cardinals. I am remembering the love and warmth of my grandmother. I am choosing to feel grateful for the beauty of the sunlight on the trees and the blue sky. I am holding true to my commitments of being healthy, thin and fit, knowing that the hormones will eventually even out and I will eventually pass out of this phase of my life. I am connecting to my own heart and telling myself “it’s okay, everything’s all right, you’ve got this, no worries.”
This is what I wish for you: Whatever you may be going through, I wish you peace and comfort. I wish for you strength to keep to your commitments. I wish for you love and true connection both with yourself and with those around you. I wish for you simple beauty that makes you smile. I wish you the remembrance of someone who loves you deeply, even if that someone is already gone. On that note, I see that the female cardinal is back, perched on the edge of the bird bath. And I smile.
Blessings to you,